Confused, the king shook his head. “Rhaegar…”

Listen up, fellow self-pitying nerd boys—we are not the victims here. We are not the underdogs. We are not the ones who have our ownership over our bodies and our emotions stepped on constantly by other people’s entitlement. We’re not the ones where one out of six of us will have someone violently attempt to take control of our bodies in our lifetimes.

We are not Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds, we are not Steve Urkel from Family Matters, we are not Preston Myers from Can’t Hardly Wait, we are not Seth Rogen in every movie Seth Rogen has ever been in, we are not fucking Mario racing to the castle to beat Bowser because we know there’s a princess in there waiting for us.

We are not the lovable nerdy protagonist who’s lovable because he’s the protagonist. We’re not guaranteed to get laid by the hot chick of our dreams as long as we work hard enough at it. There isn’t a team of writers or a studio audience pulling for us to triumph by “getting the girl” in the end. And when our clever ruses and schemes to “get girls” fail, it’s not because the girls are too stupid or too bitchy or too shallow to play by those unwritten rules we’ve absorbed.

It’s because other people’s bodies and other people’s love are not something that can be taken nor even something that can be earned—they can be given freely, by choice, or not.

— John Oliver (via wilderbiz)
This 90-year-old sex doctor in India is the best.

Q: Two days ago, I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. To prevent pregnancy, we bought an i-Pill. [emergency contraceptive] But in the heat of the moment I popped it instead of her. Can it cause any complications for me?

A: Next time round please use a condom and make sure you don’t swallow that too.

Q: I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend’s vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?

A: Are you a bhel puri [snack] vendor? Where did you get this weird idea from? There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control. You can consider using a condom.

Q: After having sex four times a day, I feel weak the next day. For about five minutes, my vision goes blank and I can’t see anything properly. Please help.

A: What do you expect? Shouts of hurray and I am a champion all over town?

Q: What First Aid will we require after having sex for the first time? My fiancée and I have had oral sex many times. How safe is that?

A: You need not join the Red Cross; just visit a sexpert for some pre-marriage counselling. Oral sex is safe and healthy, and she will not conceive through it.

Q: My family is demanding that I get married. How can I ascertain if the girl is a virgin?

A: I suggest you don’t get married. Unless you appoint detectives, there is no way to find out. Spare any poor girl of your suspicious mind.

Q: My girlfriend and I are 22 years old. We had sex a few months ago, for the first time, but she did not bleed. How can I identify if she is a virgin? Please help. I am confused.

A: Is this the way you love your girlfriend? You are a suspicious person. Haven’t you heard that there are several other ways by which the hymen can split, such as by playing a sport?

Q: I have a small penis and I can’t seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka [prayer]. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn’t helped. What should I do?

A: If he was right, most men would have a penis hitting their knees. God doesn’t help gullible, foolish men. Go visit a sexpert instead who can teach you the art of making love.

Q: In the last semester, I failed one subject. My parents got worried and took me to an astrologer… He asked me to remove my pants… He said the ejaculate after masturbation is equal to 100ml of blood, hence my weakness. Is all of this true? Should I stop masturbating and avoid my girlfriend? I am regretting showing him my penis. Please help.

A: The astrologer is a hoax and completely ignorant of sexual matters. Masturbation is completely normal. I suggest you tell your parents you will not visit such frauds again. Not being able to hit bull’s eye at academics each time, is normal. Visit your college counsellor.

Q: I’m a 30-year-old man. I have seen a newspaper advertisement that claims some Ayurvedic medicine increases the length and the size of the penis, makes you last longer and can straighten out the penis too. Is this possible? I have had sex 10 times with my girlfriend in the last six months, but I never feel satisfied because I ejaculate too early. Also, how can I increase the size of my penis?

A: The advertisers are just waiting to fleece gullible people like you. None of their claims are true. Learn the art of love-making, which will give you greater joy, than looking for enlargement, which is not possible.

Q: Is it safe if penis is kept in the vagina when sleeping?

A: Usually when the penis returns to flaccid state, it will slide out of the vagina. Even if does not, rest assured the vagina will not have it for breakfast.

Q: My friend thinks that her breasts are getting larger because of masturbation. Is this possible?

A: No. Does she think her clitoris is an air pump?

punkgf:

*chases after fob tour bus* I DONT KNOW WHERE YOURE GOIN BUT DO YOU HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE TROUBLED SOUL

Definitely thought this was “fob” as in “fresh off the boat” and got very confused.

Endless things I love Anne Boleyn ♔ The Most Happy

Anne Boleyn is one of the most controversial women in English history; we argue over her, we pity and admire and revile her, we reinvent her in every generation. She takes on the colour of our fantasies and is shaped by our preoccupations: witch, bitch, feminist, sexual temptress, cold opportunist. She is a real woman who has acquired an archetypal status and force, and one who patrols the nightmares of good wives; she is the guilt-free predator, the man-stealer, the woman who sets out her sexual wares and extorts a fantastic price. She is also the mistress who, by marrying her lover, creates a job vacancy. Her rise is glittering, her fall sordid. God pays her out. The dead take revenge on the living. The moral order is reasserted.”

betweenthesaharaandthesea:

Collections that Leave You Breathless—> Suneet Varma | India Bridal Fashion Week | 2013 The Golden Bracelet

 

vintagegal:

Katharine Hepburn with her sisters c. 1939

vintagegal:

Katharine Hepburn with her sisters c. 1939

emotionalshorty2001:

carbae21:

fashionoise:

I am dead

🌸☁️UK BBYGVRL☁️🌸

Half you guys don’t even know this movie

Yeah, down with the people who might be interested in Bollywood but haven’t seen Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam yet.
Bolly posers.

emotionalshorty2001:

carbae21:

fashionoise:

I am dead

🌸☁️UK BBYGVRL☁️🌸

Half you guys don’t even know this movie

Yeah, down with the people who might be interested in Bollywood but haven’t seen Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam yet.

Bolly posers.

inothernews:

It begins.

inothernews:

It begins.

3rdtrident:

logotv:

Happy International Drag Day! Celebrate this glamorous day with a marathon of “Kinky Boots” and “RuPaul’s Drag Race” starting at 5:30/4:30c!

Wait they made it into a movie already?

The movie came first!

sharislade:

lolforever

ragingbitchfest:

stylinfcuk:

laughing so hard because this is so accurate

We used AIM but same thing.

dr-abel-gideon:

fuckyeahguysindresses:

the-platonic-blow:

Unrepeatable (1994)

Insta-reblog.

This actually does work, FYI. Not 100% of the time, but it does throw their bullying mentality for a loop that they often cannot recover from.

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